Progress (anticipated)

October 31, 2011

Morning, Internet!

Well today is the first day of my week of unemployment before I start my new contract. The plan was to get up at 7am, do some exercise (healthy body, healthy mind blah blah) and then sit down at my desk and not leave it until 5pm Friday (or until this chapter draft is finished, whichever happens first).

Needless to say, that didn’t happen. I woke up two hours late. Or maybe just one hour late depending on what time it actually is. I do think that the fact that the clocks change twice a year is time’s way of mocking ADHDers. If it wasn’t for the fact that, after six months of having to mentally add an hour to the clock on my microwave, it now reads the same time as my laptop and phone (which I think update automatically) then I would be totally confused. So really, it’s a good thing (yet not a particularly astonishing thing) that I never got round to changing it. Actually, I think this should be included somewhere in the ADHD diagnostic self-assessment. If your microwave clock is wrong for six months in every year, there’s a good chance you have ADHD.

Anyway (predictably), I digress. Despite the (probable) lateness of the hour, I am going to be a good little PhD student today and make some Progress (note capitalisation – that’s how much progress I shall make). I have devised a points system with M, who I think is as desperate for me to finish this PhD as I am, and so has become my unofficial second supervisor. For every 100 words, I get 1 point. I have to get a minimum of 30 points by Friday or I can’t go out. I know this sounds like a Primary School Approach to Getting a PhD, but at this stage, it isn’t just the ADHD causing the inertia – I’m just feeling a bit stale with it all. Making good Progress this week will help get me out of this rut and hopefully see me to the finish line. Thank you, M, you’re definitely going in the acknowledgements (if I ever get that far).

So today is likely to be a bit slow. But I did have two very late nights this weekend. Oh, Halloween drinks on Friday were good, btw. I still have Halloween decorations up, but all food and empties have been disposed of. I’ll get round to packing the Halloween decs away this week at some point. But if not, they can just stay up. It’ll be Halloween again next year, and that’ll save me a job.

Now, to work!

Happy Halloween, Internet.

Good morning, Internet.

It’s a chilly autumnal morning here in Wonderland. I have had an uncharacteristic (and entirely involuntary) early start to the day, having been woken up by the postman who delivered my Halloween costume. I forgot to take off my make-up last night and had been in a very deep sleep so the poor guy could be forgiven for his barely concealed surprise when his knock was answered by a creature for whom the donning of a scary Halloween costume could only represent an improvement. A creature who resembled this chap:

Anyway, I digress. After a shaky start, I am determined to remain on-topic today without hesitation, repetition or deviation. I need to talk to you about my decision to go back on the Ritalin before the rapidly loosening ball of wool that is my life unravels completely. I’m feeling completely incapable of getting things done and it’s always the PhD and my blood pressure that suffers most.

For example: I have so much to do today, and I am desperately trying not to panic. I am having people over to the flat tonight for a halloween gathering. Ideally, my itinary for the day would go something like this:

1) Blog about my ADHD meds (or lack thereof).
2) Despite lack of said meds, nevertheless, produce 3 or 4 hours of quality writing towards my PhD, thus sedating the little monster of PhD anxiety so that he has a good long nap.

3) Clean flat from top to bottom without breaking off at any point to explore the Internet or check that the dietary needs of chinchillas have not changed since the last time I conducted this research. Pay particular attention to the removal of cat fur from surfaces that guests are likely to want to sit on.

3.i) Decorate flat with cheap Halloween tat purchased from poundshop.

3.ii) Do so without sustaining injury from climbing on furniture.

3.iii) Dispose of all packaging and rubbish associated with cheap tat. Do not
leave on living room floor.

4) Go to Sainsburys and purchase food, alcohol and suitably proportioned pumpkin.

5) Carve pumpkin (may require sudden and spontaneous increase of artistic ability)

5.i) Do so without sustaining injury from big sharp knife.

5.ii) Should injury occur, at least have presence of mind to collect blood into
suitable container for incorpration into Halloween costume.

6) Shower, apply scary make-up to face, put on scary costume and wig.

7) Admit guests to flat without any indication of preparation hell. Probs attempt smile if poss but if not, pass lack of smile off as costume-appropriate expression.

8)  Drink Halloween punch until I pass out and care not that my flat enjoyed approx 1 hr of tidiness before being littered with the debris of celebration and intoxication, debris that I will inevitably be too hungover to dispose of.

Oh crap. How is that the time?? Despite the carefully delineated 8 point plan above, I am going to have to jettison Step 1 and postpone my post on ADHD meds. Again. FFS.